Today's Laughing BOX


LET Imagine if ATM in Naija speak our dialect. If U
are in a sophisticated area like BANANA ISLAND,
here is how the ATM would communicate;
ATM: Welcome Mr. Adenuga.
-Please, enter your secret number.
-How much will you like to withdraw?
Thank you for banking with us, Mr. Adenuga.
….but if you are in a place like MUSHIN, here is
how it will respond; After a guy inserts his card,
inputs his pin,
ATM: Haaaaaaaaaaaa, Omo Iyami,
-tuale baba agba, owo meji fun eyan kan
-omo iya ma je ki won ri numba e...malogo
-se o wa pa?
Guy: Mo wa pa baje baje.
ATM: Elo ni k’omo aye po jade?
(guy inputs 10,000)
ATM: (dispenses cash).
Omo Iya, ma jeun lo ntie.
In a place like IBADAN.
An Ibadan woman inserts her card, inputs her
secret code.
ATM: (In Ibadan tone)
-Ekabo Iyami, e ni soriburuku
-e te numba yin ni kanmo kanmo
-So nsure?
-Elo le fe gba?
(Woman enters N2,000)
ATM: Iya, ko ma s’owo lapo yin ke!
(Woman enters N2,000 again)
ATM: Se ko nse afise?
-Mo ro pe eti yin di?
Mo so pe ko s’owo lapo yin.
(For the third time, woman enters N2,000 again,
thinking it was an error on the ATM’s part)
ATM: (pauses for a while)
mo ro pe ori yin ti buru
-Oma saaro kutukutu ke.
-Alawin laaro ojo aje.
-To ba pe ko o to fa kadi re yo, emi maa gbe je
ni.
-Alawin kosi kuro ko je ki awon olorire wa gbowo
In a place like IJEBU
A woman inserts her card & pin
ATM: Omo alare,
-elo ro nfe gba?
(Woman enters N2,391.50K)
ATM: Pause for about one minute, trying to
understand the digits. After about a minute, ATM
replies,
ATM: Iya, mo nbo?
E je nsare lo wa shenji wa.3
 
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